Photo by Tracy Fuentes
Conan Gray, best known for his powerful pop songs that resonate with the phenomenon of coming of age in Gen Z, such as the song “Heather”, released the album Found Heaven on April 5th. Found Heaven marked Gray’s third studio album, following up the critically acclaimed Kid Krow and Superache. The third album is certainly an ode to Gray’s desire for experimentation with sound.
This work is the first work in Gray’s discography not produced by Grammy-winning producer Dan Nigro, known for producing Olivia Rodrigo’s SOUR and Guts, as well as Chappell Roan’s The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess. Nigro was fully immersed in the art of producing Rodrigo’s sophomore album GUTS at the time Gray started writing Found Heaven, which opened Gray to working with different producers for the first time. Gray’s work with hit-makers Max Martin and ILYA really helped Gray’s desire for something new come to fruition, as echoed in recent interviews with Zach Sang.
While Kid Krow and Superache had similar vibes, Gray made it clear that he wanted something different with Found Heaven, releasing five singles before the release of the full 13-track album, which diverges from all expectations. Gray ultimately expands his versatility as an artist with this poignant 80’s pop album that sounds like it could be the entire soundtrack to the next season of Stranger Things.
The album opens with the title track “Found Heaven”, which on its surface is an explicit entry into the vibe of eighties synth pop that informs the album, or a sad song with a poppy beat but it’s really so much more than that. It is a penned love letter, written entirely by Gray, from the perspective of an older version of himself who has processed some of his past, using the second person identifier “you” to refer and talk to his childhood self.
This track uses religious euphemisms to reflect upon the internalization of expectations placed on him at a young age to suppress his true identity or a chance at finding love or “heaven.” He is confident, proud, and autonomous for the first time after being conditioned to suppress a feeling, which lines up with the boldness and exuberance lining this era. This pride specifically resonates as an anthem for queer kids with religious trauma, and is a favorite, especially for those who may resonate with “Family Line” on Superache.
The second track “Never Ending Song” was the first single released from this album, serving as the world’s first exposure to this new era of Conan Gray. This track, which is referential to the inspiration behind previous albums and songs, embodies the eighties with its repetitive chord sequences, and repetitive catchy lyrics that are guaranteed to stay in your head. It feels again like an ode to a past self, but more specifically, a cycle that Gray is stuck in, as he says “[I] tried to turn the page, but our story wasn’t stopping…. like a never ending song”.
“Fainted Love” is the track on the album that feels most reflective of a cycle, but in this case, a cycle of a situationship. Situated in his lower range for most of the song, Gray sings about this relationship with an urgency that is fleeting, and recognizes that this is fleeting, but takes the fainted love anyway, because of the convincing nature of this person, and how enamored Gray feels by this person. Even when the person has made it clear that they will never have a full relationship, Gray is still making himself available for this person, whenever they might need him, even if their love is fainted. One can presume that Gray eventually recognizes the toxicity of this relationship, but this resolution is never reached within the song.
“Alley Rose” is the kind of song listeners may expect from Gray, but his vocals deliver like never before. His powerful voice aligns perfectly with the vividly concrete images that comprise the narrative of this song, which marks a personal touch on a version of The Beatles’ iconic Abbey Road. The person that Conan is singing about hails from London, and the two had some kind of affiliation with alleyways. “Alley Rose” arguably marks the most concrete and outwardly personal narrative that Gray has told thus far. The buildup, both narratively and vocally, reflects the emotional connection Gray built with this person, and perfectly encapsulates the feelings of a first heartbreak. This is evident especially in the bridge, where Gray describes the feeling of being truly loved for the first time, after being mistreated in various relationships as he was growing up. This song balances the juxtaposing sadness and gratefulness of a breakup in a mere three and a half minutes.
“Lonely Dancers”, on the other hand, takes the idea of a sad breakup song and completely subverts it. This song feels most symbolic of the period immediately after a breakup, and uses its playfulness and bubblegum beat as a coping mechanism in a kind of tongue and cheek, self-aware way. Conan acknowledges that the breakup is very new, but attempts to find togetherness in the new state of being lonely, by “danc[ing]… so we don’t cry.”
“The Final Fight” and “Miss You” both foreground the listener of the album in the idea of desire. “The Final Fight” and its slow pop yearning has Conan wishing differently about this relationship, now that he has had some distance from it. He sings about feelings of betrayal and wishing the relationship ended differently, because of the other person. Inversely, in “Miss You”, the fast-paced, breathy track directly after, he engages in the same type of wishing, but from the perspective of his faults in the relationship. This pair of songs reflects the juxtaposing emotions that one feels in love, and showcases the importance of letting time do its thing when creating an album that reflects a relationship from beginning to end, like Found Heaven.
After two sad songs, Gray jarringly channels a playful experimentation in sound, tone, and title with “Bourgeoisiesies”, a fan favorite on the album. The title is a word made up by Gray, derived from the French noun, bourgeois. “Bourgeoisiesies” is Gray’s way of symbolically referring to wealthy, materialistic people and their distance from reality. Despite the sonic play and hyperbolic tone, “Bourgeoisiesies”, under the mask of its silliness, makes a strong political statement about materialism and classism, as well as the idea of capitalist nationalism. This song is juxtaposed in content and vibe, speaking to the wealthy communities’ perception of themselves in comparison with the crumbling reality for people who don’t come from privilege like Gray. This isn’t the first time Gray has prioritized these themes in his work, and this feels like a followup to “Affluenza” on Kid Krow. This song in its nature problematizes the nature of complicity and escapism for people in the higher class, which feels more important to draw attention now than ever, given the nature of complicity from people with a platform in our current period of political strife.
“Forever With Me” is Gray’s final ode to his relationship on the album, and centers feelings of embracement, growth, and peace. This slow ballad takes control and responsibility for its emotional nature, and continues to recognize the permeance of the impact of a relationship through its deep self-awareness and reflection. This bittersweet ballad recognizes the close of a chapter, but does it with respect for the emotional labor put into this relationship, and embraces the need for peace and closure to truly grow.
“Eye of the Night” is at its core an eighties power belt that deeply showcases Gray’s vocal ability, building up to the last chorus’ octave change. In addition to showcasing vocals, “Eye of the Night” nails a vividly eerie tone, both with chords and lyricism. This haunting tone is exemplified through imagery referencing the gothic literature canon and Edgar Allan Poe’s “The Tell Tale Heart”, as Conan describes a heartbeat that bleeds through the floor beneath him.
“Eye of The Night” transitions into what I consider to be the eighties period piece and bisexual anthem of the album, “Boys and Girls”. This song opens with a reference to one of Gray’s biggest inspirations for this album, David Bowie. This helps to emphasize the popularity of the person he is interested in, which is emphasized later by saying that all the boys and girls want a chance with this person, including Gray, across generations. I wouldn’t say this song is about love, but rather, the more relatable feeling of crushing, pining, or unrequited love. Gray says that he doesn’t know much about love, but will be found in the crowd of people interested in loving this person, despite the lack of interest. The chaotic upbeat nature of the song helps to reflect in real time Gray’s struggles to define his relationship with this person.
“Killing Me” embodies a similar draining chaos for Gray, through its fast-paced and hyperbolic nature, as life and death are pinned on the relationship with the subject of the song, despite Gray’s attempt to break free. This alludes to the earlier cycles described in “Fainted Love” and “Never Ending Song”, and here, Gray is most aware of the toxicity of this relationship, but cannot seem to end the relationship. The tone is similar to “Fainted Love” in the sense that Conan is attempting to prioritize his health, but that conclusion is never explicit in the song.
This album closes with “Winner”, a powerful, personal, vulnerable reflection on the impact of childhood trauma from Gray’s parents, which feels cohesive with the opening title track. This song, while obviously very personal to Gray and his coming of age until he “found heaven”, deals with big-picture emotions in familial relationships, emphasizing the importance of this song to let people know they are not alone. It deals with the ideas of guilt, love, trying to make peace, defeat, and control, and recognizes the permanence of burnout and continued impact even when one may think they need to stop thinking about it. Having songs about familial trauma open and close the album reminds listeners that trauma is a valid part of experiences, despite all the songs about love or heartbreak.
This entire album feels like a testament to Gray’s growth on a personal and professional level, and while I was not anticipating it, this album builds up from his lower range, which we rarely hear him lean into, to the powerful higher range Gray is an expert at, feels most appropriate to tell a story like this one. Conan Gray certainly “found heaven” with this freshly nostalgic album, and he made sure his fans “found heaven” with him too.
Kindergarten 