Eulogy for Past Versions of Myself

Photo by Kleigh Balugo

By Madison Kleinrock-Andrews

The version of myself 

who was blissfully naive,

the version of myself 

whose biggest problem was deciding what toy she wanted from the store,  

the version of myself 

who thought I had found love with you

are all dead now.

But so are

the version of myself 

who based her self-worth on grades,

the version of myself 

who was insecure about how she looked,

the version of myself 

who mistakenly thought a doctor was the best profession for her,

the version of myself 

who was heartbroken over you. 

I had to kill them

in order to grow,

but that doesn’t mean I’m not grateful

for the role they played 

in getting me to where I am today. 

The baby bird just about to hatch

wouldn’t have grown so large

without the help of the egg

that is now confining it,

yet the egg must be shattered

for the baby bird to enter 

the next stage of its life.  

If I could talk to the past versions of myself,

I would tell them that I forgive them

for the mistakes they made 

when they didn’t know what I know now

and ask them to forgive me 

for abandoning their dreams

so I could pursue new ones

that I believe will make me happier. 

I hope they would consider me

a better, not just a newer 

version of them 

and would be proud

of the person they became. 

I think they would. 

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