The Simple Joy

Photo by Kleigh Balugo

By Stephanie Mamonto

In the time of quarantine 

I was craving more sweets than I could ever imagine

memes and live IGs made me sick

They made me occasionally forget what I really like or do not like, all the sense of oneself,

you know, before this crisis.

Time flows as it did in my childhood,

spending time thinking about what I’m going to do with the future

Falling asleep as I’m rushing to read the next pages of that particular book 

about rebels in the school of witchcraft and wizardry

or prettified, navel-gazing suffering approaches self-parody.

Only now the future is hazy, 

and I let more books and tabs on my laptop open without intention to finish them, as it were.

I think the confusion of what’s next after I am finally able to digest what I’ve been through keeps growing and it gives me the anxiety of not knowing.

Some days waking up is hard, the others make me awake till dawn.

Not sleeping but drowning.

But slowly I find the joy in doing groceries, cooking simple meals, obsessing over the British dark comedies, attending webinars, very slow decluttering, ordering iced coffee online, and spending more time to disinfect it than to finish it in a couple of sips.

(This poem was also made as part of noise/spoken word project by AWKWARD BEAR)

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