Photo by Molly Zofia
I filled my heart through my nose,
When I was nineteen years old,
And so concerned with
Piling my soul with a
All the while,
I weighed myself,
On the tipping scales of
Tentative womanhood and
Urging myself to
Borrow comfort from the
Familiarity of numbness
While I searched for normality
In the face of a boy who
Told me to shut up when I spoke because,
He was just like you.
And I filled my time with lines,
Lines that sent me crashing through
The cracks in the walls
Like your clumsy rebuttals,
Forcing their way into my throat
Where a new pair of hands find me.
Again, again, again.
Eyes rolling back like a smack in the face.
Tracing the fluorescent bars in the ceiling
Back down to the residue on my phone screen
To my reflection in the mirror, tilt my head,
Waiting for a smile that never came.
I hadn’t heard from you in two months.