Photo by Kleigh Balugo
I feel like I never have enough time; life is a cycle of booked weekdays and weekends that drain me just as much as Monday through Friday did. This unrelenting cycle leaves barely any room for myself, let alone the time and energy to actively search for that one person or wait for our paths to miraculously cross and fulfill a cosmic prerequisite.
I find it hard to even wrap my head around the idea of a “soulmate.” When our lives move at paces faster than we can fathom and take us to places we never quite expect, why should we even bother to bind ourselves to another person? It’s hard to imagine what we’ll be doing or who we’ll be with even a year from now- why try to configure the rest of our lives around someone else?
That being said, I think there’s no shortage of love to go around. Despite inundated weekdays and weekends, I believe a sliver of time and energy exists for what you truly care about. However, I’m not necessarily talking about hours carved out for dates or intricate, heartfelt gifts. While these are certainly important, I’m thinking about the more mundane; when I think of someone we’re bound to spend the rest of our lives with, I think of someone whose existence in your life persists, lasting through hyper-hectic periods and those stretches of time where you just feel like being alone.
Sure, I could just be projecting my workaholic tendencies onto my half-conceived notion of what a soulmate might be; I could be trying to make excuses for sandwiching quality time with my loved ones between tasks I feel obligated to finish. But to me, a soulmate, or twin flame, or whatever you’d like to call it is someone you can merely exist with. Yes, a relationship of any kind requires significant effort, time, and a laundry list of other nice things to grow, but I think a soulmate gives you those things and more.
The bond you have with a soulmate persists against the logistics of it all, including how far away you may be from each other or how much time you can spend together. Sure, planning whole days with your significant other or best friend is great. Just as important, though, are the moments spent in utter silence as you study together or five minutes of a conversation typed completely in capital letters over text when you haven’t heard from each other in days. The bond between soulmates, I think, is one that doesn’t rely on constant coaxing to continue flourishing. For all I know, a soulmate might be someone you rarely see but can speak to as if you see each other every day the minute you reunite. It might be someone whose presence you can appreciate in complete idleness, not doing anything in particular.
If soulmates truly do exist, the definition shouldn’t be as rigid as we often make it to be. Friends are perfectly capable of this; so are romantic partners, though there’s no need to restrain your search for a soulmate to romance. I think you can have more than one soulmate and I think they can definitely arrive when you least expect or feel you need it. Most importantly, I don’t think finding your soulmate needs to be a world-shattering, extraordinary event that changes everything about the way you live; if anything, it should feel like their place in your life is right where they should be.